Coping with kids' reactions when selling family homes

Shortly after her daughter Seena graduated from high school, Julie Taylor and her husband decided to sell their California home of 17 years. The decision was financially motivated, with the proceeds intended to fund Seena's college tuition in the Midwest. However, this practical move left Seena emotionally devastated.

Seena's reaction was not unique. Kenneth Yim, a Montreal native, recalled a similar experience when his family sold their house during his senior year. "It was practical, but practicality doesn’t soothe a teenage heart," he said. He felt as though his parents were erasing their family's history.

The emotional impact of selling a family home is not uncommon among teenagers. Real estate agent Andrew Fortune recounted an incident involving a Colorado teenager who tried to sabotage the sale of her family's home by leaving muddy shoes near the entry before showings and other subtle acts of defiance.

Jonathan Hartley, a relationship coach, noted that current housing market conditions contribute to young adults' feelings of loss when parting with their childhood homes. "The housing market’s not friendly right now," he explained, adding that losing their childhood house can feel like losing their last connection to property ownership.

Therapists suggest involving children in discussions about such moves early on. Rachel Goldberg advised explaining the reasons behind the decision while inviting them into the conversation: “I want you to understand why and be involved."

Courtney Morgan emphasized that parents should make decisions in the best interest of families even if children disagree and advised against taking children's frustrations personally.

Despite initial resistance from her daughter, Julie Taylor found ways to help Seena adjust over time by focusing on benefits such as improved living conditions at college and opportunities for international study.

Ultimately, while Seena still misses her friends and hopes to return to California someday, she has come to terms with how selling their L.A. home benefited her life overall.